the problem with us is, we talk but we don't really communicate. we talk about things, petty things. we didn't express our thoughts well. we didn't tell each other why we're exclusive, why we should matter. we don't dream about each other anymore!
if only you could reach out to me as i try to reach into you.
neither of that matters to you.
why is a big question lying, floating in our heads.. or in this case, it's only been me.
why i feel like only i think all we have matters..
why would you ignores me
and why you go all quiet and surly when i ask you?
why why why
and when i try to convey, naturally you'll shut up, and ignore me.
and all you do is digging back your past! not even thinking bout ours but you, yours alone.
to think how selfish a human being can be, these provocative things that you're doing, this is it. and it's killing me.
and you'll push everything away, even me! making me a fool for wanting not let go. making me a tool for you...i don't event know what am i to you.
>it's raining all day today. feeling lumpy and grumpy. made chicken curry. i'm sure tomorrow the gravy will be more thick. it'll be nicer to indulge in it.
>this time around i'm thinking of going to india. why? coz there's so much vibrant color. i'm sure tv only show me what i want to see. tempted. take for example, i'm here stuck in Bogor but i couldn't even get out of Dramaga. "Responsibility"
>i shall not care anymore. to say that is like lying to your pretty face, like spitting up in the air. it isn't right..
>but it is true.
>i think what i have now will soon expire.
>got nothing much to hold on to these days.
>what can i do what the person i love starting to dismiss me? i haven't get used to his "grand philosophy" of love. at this point..i'm afraid, i'd lose.
Sempat kah tua? Bagaimana nasib hari tua ku kelak bermula dengan sekarang, hari ini. Tapi sakit sihat milik dia. Jika tak gagah, ada kah yang setia memimpin tangan ke kamar tidur bila malam mulai tua? Ada kah yang tak jemu menemani hari mengisi waktu yang terluang? Baikkah penghabisan?
I should get it by now.. Just tell me when & where you wanna say it. I'll get prepared. I'll listen. I'll do what I'm suppose to do. Just say it. Coz when you're done saying it, there'll be no u-turn. It'll be slow ride to death, for me. And I don't skip death. So give it to me already. Do it.. Quickly..